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Yesterday we launched our new competition. It’s going to be the best and most fun yet because we are asking for funny stuff. This request was driven by me.

‘There’s nowhere to place humorous and silly writing these days,’ I said in a moment of idle humour. ‘Where is all the funny stuff these days? Where the budding wits and raconteurs? Where the mistresses and masters of spoof?’

The rest of the team nodded assent. Or I think it was assent. They were eating their lunches at the time and that might have been a chewing sort of motion.

‘Right,’ I said, in between mouthfuls of baguette, ‘Next comp is going to be Spoof and Humour.’ More chewing which I chose to interpret as enthusiastic nodding.

But I’m the bossy person so this is the competition. (Which Gavin had better be putting on the website at this very moment. You see? Bossy).


*NEW* Spoof and Humour Writing competition:
Leaf Books is inviting you to render us helpless with mirth. We’re looking for humorous articles and comments up to 500 words in length with an emphasis on spoofing regular magazine and/or newspaper content. There are no notable limits on your creativity, but we’ve produced a list of sorts that you might like to peruse for ideas.

Spoof articles/columns on the following:
- news; current affairs; commentary; regular column type pieces; reviews; serialisations; cartoons; diaries; fashion; sport; style; home and garden; science; environment; technology; politics; jobs; analysis; travel; money; arts; classified; obituaries; food; horoscopes; problem pages; recipes; lonely hearts; letters page; complaints; corrections and clarifications; pretty much anything else that occurs to you.

Entry fee: £3 per submission; £10 for four submissions.

All selected pieces will be published in a Leaf Books anthology. The overall winner will receive £200.

Closing date: 30th September, 2007.
PLEASE NOTE - ONLINE SUBMISSIONS ONLY.

Yesterday I also broke my foot having a sauna. So please, I’m at home and sad. Send us something funny.

Ceci

If you are vaguely curious as to how the hell a responsible woman of a certain age can break her foot having a sauna - http://ceciliamorreau.blogspot.com/2007/06/what-not-to-do-in-sauna.html

 

We sent a sample of our anthologies to Gardners the bookselling/mediating type people the other week, and when I say a sample I actually mean all three of them. Nothing. They said on their website they'd get back within 48 hours. They did nothing of the sort. Our anthologies are beautiful, and I'm not saying that because I'm partial but because it's a kind of a universal truth type thing. But Gardners don't much want to know. Which is fine. Like we wanted to sell our books in the first place. Chuh.

The Hay Festival is on right now this very second. We are not going to the Hay Festival because we are not sufficiently famous. This is fine too. The Hay Festival is not terribly much about books these days. This is not in any sense a controversial statement. The drive, however, is very pretty, and I'm sorry we shan't be doing that this year.

I am currently alone in the office. I'm trying to write an introduction to Outbox and Other Poems. If one of you would like to do it for me in comments, that'd be grand. I don't know where the others are. I know where one of them is, so technically that's a fib. But I don't know where the other others are, and the central heating's on, and it's too warm. Otherwise, you know. Everything's fine.

One of us has a birthday tomorrow. It isn't me.

Sam.

 

Isn’t summer a perfect time to sit in the sun with a good book? I’m only mentioning that because I think I’ve finally completed Coffee & Chocolate. And I think it’s perfect sunny reading material. And with a good wind it’s going to start the printing process on Monday.

We’re now moving on to The Light That Remains & Other Short Stories and Outbox & Other Poems from containing the winners from our Open Short Story and Open Poetry Competitions. We promise to have these out in the world a little faster. We then have Derek & Other Short Short Stories to present for your pleasure.

You’ve definitely got lots of quality and entertaining bit-sized reading on the way.

Not failing mention a Sci-Fi/Fantasy-themed collection, whose contents is currently being judged and enjoyed.

On a more mundane note the usual office admin has been done, bills paid, office tidied (which had a surprisingly high amount of paper than needs correctly disposing off), and generally getting on with things.

Non-work related Matt is now an expert at Guitar Hero II and if there is a World Champion Competition I’m going to enter him in it; Ceci went to Chealsea Flower Show (though I’ve not had chance to ask her what she thought of the Dr Who Garden); Sam seems to have brought in home-made cakes but I’m not asking her about them yet incase they aren’t for us and I look greedy; and I’ve been playing with a £2000.00 camera, which is quite scary. Plus I almost managed to break a £400 lens yesterday when it landed on the floor after falling off the sofa. I don’t think I can be trusted with a £2000.00 item that can easily be dropped.

What’s your news?

Gav. 

 

Good afternoon folks.

Plleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaase will you make sure your entries are anonymous? I'm not accusing you of smashing the world or anything quite like that, and much as you've all got wonderful names (some of you have ultra-wonderful names), we judge our competition entries anonymously for a very strongly-reasoned reason.

Novellas, sure, print your name on every sheet in 72 point bold Impact, if you like (don't actually), but on your delightful entries for the competitions we only require your name on the entry form/covering letter because otherwise we have to spend a massive amount of time defacing your masterpieces with permanent markers, thereby precluding their further use should you want them back and also making the databasing process a great deal more awful than it already is.

I still love you.

Matt.

 

Micro-Fiction 2007 Winners


Winner:

‘Derek’ by Gina Goodwin

Runners-Up:

‘You are my giraffe now’ by Jason Jackson

‘Imaginary Origami’ by Amy Mackelden

Commended:

‘Badger Play’ by Gina Goodwin

‘Backwards’ by Jason Jackson

‘Lee & Holly’ by Amy Mackelden

‘Heavy Petting’ by Amy MacKelden

‘The Crumb’ by Catherine Edmunds

‘Not a Good Idea’ by Catherine Edmunds

‘The Truth About Janet’ by Sara Benham

‘Picture Your Father Without A Picture’ by Teresa Stenson

‘The Tower’ by Su Barkla

‘Going Home’ by Cath Drake

‘And I’m Gone’ by Jo Else

‘I, Witch’ by Jo Else

‘Mountain Air Footie’ by Don Taylor

‘The Miracle’ by Stella Pierides

‘Callers’ by Sue Anderson

‘Finding faculties, fainting goats’ by Jackie Sullivan

‘The library book’ by Tania Hershman

‘The Long Not Yet’ by Chloe Richards

‘The Colour of Romance’ by Sara Browning

‘Doing Something’ by Varihi Scott

‘The silence of sleeping with him’ by Louise McErlean

‘Unfortunate Noses’ by Katy Whitehead

‘Floating is easy’ by Katy McAulay

‘When my third foot grows’ by Nancy Saunders

‘Bridged Perspective’ by David Hallett

‘We’ll Meet Again’ by Laurie Porter

‘Sailing to Valhalla’ by Michael Massey

‘Car Park’ by Caroline Adams

‘Cl²’ by Matthew Mead

‘Signalling’ by Amy Sackville

‘Looking Down’ by Alice Blake

‘Morris came in from the garden shed’ by Arvon P Whitaker

‘Queen of the Nerd Prom’ by Shaun Manning

‘Fading Footprints; Downy Flakes’ by Robin Tompkins

‘The Corn Carter’ by Jane Rusbridge

Our thanks to all who entered, and congratulations to the above. The anthology will go into production next month: we'll keep you up to date with its progress.

Gav.

 
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